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  1. BossHogg

    BossHogg

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    Thrush

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    snafu

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  4. The REAL Alan Marsh

    The REAL Alan Marsh

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Popular Content

Showing most liked content since 27/04/18 in all areas

  1. 4 likes
    On my local area facebook page a woman was asking for local recommendations for a facial. They didn't actually specify if my ban was permanent or temporary!
  2. 3 likes
    Two Scousers are riding a bicycle on a road about 15 miles outside of Manchester. One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Scousers ask him for a ride. He tells them they can ride in the trailer if they could fit in with 20,000 bowling balls he is hauling. They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. Wanting to make up time the trucker speeds up. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies, "Scouse eggs." The Blonde Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so she takes a look in the trailer. She opens the back door and shocked, quickly shuts it and locks it. She calls for immediate backup & a SWAT team. The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers. "I stopped a truck with 20,000 Scouse eggs in the trailer. Two have hatched and they've already stolen a bicycle!"
  3. 3 likes
    So are those videos where the woman suddenly can't get another speeding ticket/hasn't got the taxi fare/rent and so takes it up the arse in lieu of the above. Or so I am told
  4. 3 likes
    He has done serious stuff. I have seen his docs about a convoy, the St. Nazarie raid, and a doc about the recipients of the Victoria Cross. He has a doc about rifles out, but I haven't seen that one. He can be serious, but not often. It's like you being decent, you can do it, but it doesn't happen often
  5. 2 likes
    I was having sex with a woman when her husband came home early. She told me to use the back door and I’d have to be quick..... In retrospect I should have just left, but it’s not every day you get an offer like that!
  6. 2 likes
    ‘Businesswoman, 40, found dead in bath after setting herself on fire’.... Even to the end a woman can never make her fucking mind up!
  7. 2 likes
    Why is it that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "inspiring" but when I do it I'm "drunk" and "not welcome at the pub anymore"?
  8. 2 likes
  9. 2 likes
    A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?' She replied, 'I'm late for work.' 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?' 'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded. The cop stammered, 'A what?............ 'A Rectum Stretcher!' 'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet' 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?' he asked 'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge'!
  10. 2 likes
    A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client. "Saul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news." The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day. Give me the good news first." The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she just invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 million to $20 million, and I think she could be right." Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?" The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."
  11. 2 likes
    Nice afternoon for a no insurance seizure. #ThrushKeepingPeopleSafe
  12. 2 likes
    A gay guy goes for a Tattoo for his boyfriends birthday. “What does he like?” The Tattooist asks ”Boxing,” he replies. “Why don’t you get Mohammed Ali on your left bum cheek and Mike Tyson on your right?” “Ok,” he says. He gets home and shows his boyfriend his Tattoos. “You’re fucking mad,” he says. “Why?” He asks. “Because if you think I’m getting in the ring between them two you can fuck right off!
  13. 2 likes
    Looks like a council roadsweeper's cart.
  14. 1 like
    If you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation....... Wish me luck, I appear in court next Monday!
  15. 1 like
  16. 1 like
    An alien spaceship landed and it's two occupants got out and spoke to the first human they saw, "Take us to your dealer" they said to him. "Haha, what's up boys? Your universe translator on the blink? Don't you mean leader?" said the human sarcastically. "Look son" said one of the aliens, "we've landed in Liverpool, we know what we fucking mean."
  17. 1 like
    BBC News: "Saudi Women poised to drive in June, receiving death threats" Stay brave, Saudi Women... Next month you'll be the ones threatening death!
  18. 1 like
    If I had a ten pound note for every gender... I'd have twenty quid and a shitload of fake money!
  19. 1 like
    There are nice bikini photos online,, just search Vick Hope bikini.
  20. 1 like
    Womens Tinder profiles and what they really mean; Adventurous = Slag Athletic = No tits 30 something = 50 odd Fun = Annoying Wild = Gets pissed easily Beautiful eyes = Face like a robbers dog Seeks knight in shining armour = Ex is a fucking nutter New age = Smelly with a hairy chuff Headstrong = Argumentative Enjoys pubbing and clubbing = Alcoholic Curvy = Fat cunt Cuddly = Fat cunt Likes eating out = Greedy fat cunt Likes nights in = Lazy fat cunt
  21. 1 like
  22. 1 like
    Nice day to visit England.
  23. 1 like
    A Tibetan astrologer has predicted that England will win the World cup this year... This is by far the best proof that astrology is a load of fucking bollocks!
  24. 1 like
    They say a woman’s work is never done.... Maybe that’s why they get paid less!
  25. 1 like
    I saw a bloke wearing a T-shirt that said, “This is what a feminist looks like”. Right enough, he was a cunt with no tits and a bit of a moustache!
  26. 1 like
    A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbors' male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. Having explained the problem to him, the vet said: "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "It just worked for me," he replied.
  27. 1 like
    No, that was Al Murray.
  28. 1 like
    When you see a normally humorous person being serious, it somehow imparts a more serious impression, and makes it more authorative. Eddie Izzard has done a serious program about his marathon journey, and came across really well.
  29. 1 like
    She is a woman, nuff said
  30. 1 like
    That won't be difficult, my rabbit is brighter than last night's contestants and he's thick as fucking mince!
  31. 1 like
    An elderly couple were in church. The woman whispered to her husband, "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" He softly replied, "Get a new battery for your hearing aid."
  32. 1 like
    The missus told me she wanted decking for her birthday. Anyway, when she gets out of hospital she’s leaving me.
  33. 1 like
    It was looking like Labour were going to win a landslide in the elections but the conservatives soon caught up past 5:00 pm... When the voters came home from work!
  34. 1 like
    I did! I didn't know you were standing for labour!
  35. 1 like
  36. 1 like
    You know when you get that urge to eat something just because it’s there.... Anyway, I lost my job as a gynaecologist today.
  37. 1 like
    Get instant pain relief after stubbing your toe by hopping on one leg and shouting 'FUCKING BASTARD' repeatedly!
  38. 1 like
    I've just started having an affair with an optician and she's driving me mad in bed! She keeps asking me 'Is it better like this or is better like this, with or without, with or without etc?'
  39. 1 like
    I was referee at a women’s football match yesterday. It was brilliant! I booked two for muttering under their breath, one for the silent treatment and I sent one off without explanation and left her wondering what she’d done wrong.
  40. 1 like
    I like my woman like Tesco workers.... Dumb, Foreign and do anything for £7.20 an hour!
  41. 1 like
    I said "Alexa, What do women want?” That fucking thing has not shut up for the past three days!
  42. 1 like
    My best mate, Dave passed away yesterday so I went to see his wife today. I said, "Look on the bright side, at least he's not suffering anymore." She said, "He wasn't ill, he was killed instantly in a crash." I said, "I know, I meant being married to you."
  43. 1 like
    I know you don't!
  44. 1 like
    If you adhere to the speed limits, you don't have to worry about the unmarked car.
  45. 1 like
    You’d think with all that time women spend looking at their arses in the mirror, they would be able to reverse park between two cars!
  46. 1 like
    Recreate that ‘sat in the audience at a Jeremy Kyle show’ feeling by sitting in the order collection area at Argos!
  47. 1 like
    Camilla has decided last minute to go with new shoes for the Royal Wedding... The local blacksmith is said to be pissed off at having to work late!
  48. 1 like
    During meditation, a monk asks his master... “Master. If a man shaves his ass, is he gay?” His master thought for a moment and replied: “A man who cleans his house, clearly expects a visitor.”
  49. 1 like
    No, it isn't. There is something even worse to be. An irritating traffic cunt
  50. 1 like
    I think elephants are over protected. Mind you, that’s easy for me to say,sitting in my ivory tower...